Screw Valentine’s Day

It’s that time of year again….  Cards, flowers, candy and jewelry are flying off the shelves of every store at an alarming rate. And I, perpetually single, am told once again that I’m bitter. I’m not bitter. Seriously. My distaste for valentine’s day has nothing to do with my marital status.

In my opinion, valentine’s day is just another day. In the past, when in a committed relationship, I always felt pressured to do something bigger and better than the previous year or holiday, regardless of cost or lack of time. Valentine’s Day is stressful. It’s also a HUGE boost to the gift sector of the economy as people in relationships are guilted into buying anything and everything to woo one’s sweetheart. I’m all for boosting the economy and I’m also not against making your loved ones feel loved. But why can’t you celebrate the wonderful people in your life every day?

February 14th is just a day. There are 364 other days I like to use to honour and love the people in my life.

To my friends and family: I love you all. I don’t need a special day to tell you. I’ll probably tell at least one of you once a day that I love you until the end of time and that’s never going to stop.

Expectations can ruin just about anything

So, as my friends and family all know, I had a date last night and it went well. The only problem? My unreal expectations that I had built up all week that were not lived up to. I had this whole grand idea of exactly how the date would go and when it didn’t, I was slightly disappointed. Why, when faced with something slightly frightening or challenging or exciting do we map out what we think SHOULD happen and discard any other possibilities?

I also have a problem with over thinking. I’m doing it right now. I’m sitting in my chair going over every single detail from last night, trying to pick out any mistakes I made or things he did that I didn’t like or liked a lot… It’s insanity. But this is what I do! I do it for dates, after events for work, parties I go to or host, dinners with friends… everything! It’s a problem. Do you think they have a group for people like me? Maybe “Over Thinker’s Anonymous”?

“Hi, my name is Whitney and I’m an over thinker”

Ice cream and Project Runway = Saturday night

Tonight, I honestly have NOTHING to really post/report on. I’m just bored out of my tree. I’m currently watching Project Runway and eating Heavenly Hash ice cream on a quiet Saturday night in. Single parenting can be a little boring and mundane at times. I’m 25 and a typical Saturday night (and sometimes Monday – Friday and Sunday nights) involves streaming a good TV show or movie, or reading a book. It’s all quiet and still and I’m just not that type of person.

Last night, on the other hand, I remembered that I am only 25 and went our with friends. I saw a London Knights game (too bad they loss, but still a fan!! Go Knights, GO!) and then to Fanshawe to see The Creepshow perform. I love The Creepshow!! Fantastic show, good company and it was FREE! I go from a fantastic night of excitement and music, to a somber night full of solitude and silence.

Regardless, it comes with the territory. Single parenting is just that. Single. Solo. Alone. As soon as the little one goes to bed, it also becomes quiet. Sometimes it’s that peaceful kind of quiet that you long for all day when you’re busy. Some nights, like tonight, it’s unsettling. It’s that feeling that you should be up doing something, out with friends, entertaining people, drinking a few dozen glasses of wine and pairing it with the most fantastic of cheeses. But not tonight. Tonight, I’m going to read about how I should stop eating ice cream all the time (The Rebel Diet… check it out!! Once I’m done, I’m going to write a nice little review) and tightening my purse strings (Earn, Spend, Save… another book that I will review, once completed) and watch a little How I Met Your Mother and laugh myself silly. LOVE Neil Patrick Harris!

Well…. This is a first…

For the first time that I can remember, I actually feel lonely. It all started last night when I was talking to my friend Kaela and mentioned I was feeling a little off. Being the great friend she is, she asked me “How?”. We went though all the usual suspects: headache, sick, angry, stressed, tired (which this is true, but it didn’t feel like it), depressed and then she said something I hadn’t thought of yet. Lonely. As a rule, I’m not a lonely person. Sure, I’ve lived seperate and apart from the male population for almost 2 blissful years now and I have never felt that pang of longing for someone to be in my home with me for any length of time. But here it was. I miss having someone in my life.

Phew! Now that was a lot to realize in one short phone call. I am lonely for the first time in my 25 years. Wow. And now I’m trying to think of what I can do to alleviate this feeling. I’m already dating and meeting new people, so I’m putting myself out there. But then I got to thinking, why am I lonely? I have a great life with amazing friends, a supportive family, a beautiful daughter and a rewarding career. What am I missing?! Thankfully, when I did a mental pro/con list and I had no cons, the feeling subsided a little.

Conclusion? I have a fantastic life. What’s to feel down about? When I’m ready, I’ll meet someone worth it that will fill the once space in my life that’s still a little empty. But for right now, I’m happy. Very happy.

A Day Out

This past Sunday I had the pleasure of spending quality time with two of my favorite people in the big city. We shopped, we ate, we laughed and generally just had that quality girl time that is necessary in any healthy friendship. Here are the highlights of our lovely day out:

• A great new (or at least new to us) Asian food restaurant. Asian Bowl. If you’re in downtown Toronto any time soon, check it out! it’s across the street from the Eaton’s Center.
• Kaela getting stalked in Chapters. Some guy was following her around suggesting books and just trying to initiate conversation in the most awkward way possible. Then, when we finally made it to the counter to pay, he found another target to harass.
• Constantly losing one another in small and large stores, regardless of the amount of people or size of the store.
• FOREVER XXI is now my new favorite store in Toronto. Period.
• Shining examples of parenting, including a couple with two children and a stroller. One parent is carrying one child and pushing the empty stroller. The other parent is walking with the toddler across the busy road. The toddler isn’t great at walking and ends up getting pulled across the street by the parent. Nice. Next time, put your kid in the stroller or PICK HIM UP! Busy roads are not a great place to encourage your child to walk solo.
• The Eaton’s Center in all it’s glory! (It’s so great, it needed it’s own mention)
• Maggie somehow buying Christmas presents for both Kaela and myself while we were in the same store without us knowing it!!! (and doing an excellent job as well! We were both super surprised and happy with the presents. Thanks Maggie!!)
• The TTC Subway, Smooties, Cinnabuns, Subs and the GoTrain
• A child free day!

Although we were out later than we were planning to be and didn’t end up getting everything we needed to, the experience was what mattered. Thank you again for a wonderful, fun-filled day! I couldn’t ask for better friends to have spent it with

-W